Quote Archive

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A repository of SA mafia quotes, both artful and dumb, many at the same time! Presented in chronological order.


"Put me in the queue with Politcal Correctness Mafia.

Everyone is a vanilla, err, I mean, equally abled townsperson. There are no menacing threats to the town, nor are there killers on the loose. Each day, the townspeople vote for someone to get free icecream."
- a worthy uhh, Mafia Discussion Thread #1, referencing the late, great Game Queue.


I can't really defend my actions in any way other than this:
Everything I've done, I've done to help the town.

- Dr Science 9000, Chianti Vigilantes - A Game of Mafia


"Freakin goof troop."
- Authorman, as quoted by sloppo, France 1789: Revolutions


(context: the game had a mechanic where players could choose to "##pray" in lieu of ##voting; it was not clear what, if anything, ##prayer did)

kaschei: "For you to know that a mislynch is worse than prayer, after accepting that it is better than a nolynch, means you must have some definite, sure idea of the minimum power of prayer that tells you that nolynch+pray effect is better than mislynch.
You don't have any definite, sure ideas of the power of prayer at all."
Amnistar: "Nope, I have faith."

- The Exodus of Eskhad.


"I feel like frank grimes in the Simpsons where he looks at a blithering idiot just doing nonsensical and ridiculous things and at the end of the day I'm the one getting fired."
-Tremendous Taste, in Asiina's Star Trek: The Next Generation Mafia


"*writhes back and faces sky with arms flailing like Godzilla breathing fire* The Scum Must Die!!!"
-Diqnol, as scum, in Magnus Gallant's Peta Mafia


"i used to love mislynching ppl but now im all like 'hmm if i were mislynched by powerful demagogue dongsbot 9000, i would not like that' "

- dongsbot 9000, In re Lacenda


"Good job! You guys solved the puzzle!

Tell me that Truth Quark, a bastion of apparent competency and Mafia-dadness in the first few days hasn't already figured that out. Tell me that he honestly, like for some un-understandable reason like MMT did, thought that AR's claim made ANY sense as a scum player. "Oh, double-voting is always a scum power so that's why you must be scum, even though you are literally throwing the game away as a scum player. Fake-claiming is hard so Scumbo Revolver has to include a kernel of truth: the literal most scummy part of his tell." Mayor Glowku then swoops in with a very solid quick-hammer before I could berate you guys yesterday. You guys are stupid. MMT and jimson, you two are fucking morons. You're in the last five because you're very stupid. I have two mondo tests in sixteen hours and I'm not going to hold your hand through this. TQ is scum. Glowku is probably scum. Regardless of what you want to do, you HAVE to lynch TQ today because I am NOT changing my vote unless you want to lose today which is fine by me. I originally was going to type a mean post tonight but I went with my better nature and left ya'll with a shalom aleichem. I RESCIND IT.

cya. Wish me luck on my tests.

Oh, it looks like you guys figured it out! At least MMT has his head straight. Good job, guys. :) Don't read the striked-through text because now I'm proud of ya'll.

as-salamu alaykum"

- dongsbot 9000, Shine